The decision was about clarity, principles and values, said the wealth tax in an announcement to media.
The wealth tax has announced that it is ruling out working with Chris Hipkins for the duration of his tenure as Labour leader and prime minister. Speaking in solemn tones to a crowded media conference in Wellington the wealth tax said it was disappointed in recent rhetoric and political posturing from Chris Hipkins, and after careful reflection had resolved to rule out working with him.
“In times like these, certainty matters,” said the wealth tax. “Over recent weeks I’ve considered which leaders’ values and policies align with my own. And I am accordingly confirming today that I will have nothing to do with Chris Hipkins.”
Speaking to The Spinoff following the announcement, the wealth tax elaborated on the decision. “Chris Hipkins does not fit with my values or my vision for New Zealand’s future, and that’s why I’ve made this call,” said the wealth tax. “New Zealanders I talk to as I go up and down the country want certainty and they want it now.”
Chris Hipkins ruled out a wealth tax in July.
Appearing alongside the wealth tax, a comprehensive capital gains tax announced that it, too, was ruling out Chris Hipkins. “Experimenting with Chris Hipkins is not compatible with the goal of a realignment in a system that unfairly advantages the property-holding classes,” said the CGT. “End of story.”
A wealth tax had been backed by Grant Robertson and David Parker as part of a tax switch that would have introduced a tax-free threshold for income up to $10,000, but it was ruled out by Chris Hipkins in a “captain’s call”. Both the wealth tax and the capital gains tax professed not to have been aware that Chris Hipkins had ruled the pair out in a statement issued from Lithuania in July.
“Did he?” said the wealth tax, adding, “I don’t have terrestrial TV.”
“I don’t even know who Chris Hipkins is,” said the CGT. “And if I did I would definitely rule him out.”
An exemption on GST for fresh fruit and vegetables could not be reached for comment.